Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Everyone who's ever watched a zombie movie has thought to themselves, “Yeah. I'd be alright in a zombie apocalypse. Stock up on tinned beans, grab a cricket bat and lock the doors, right?" Wrong.

Fortunately, you can now get a test run at the apocalypse, thanks to a company called 2.8 Hours Later, who run city wide zombie chase experiences. ??? went along to take on the undead; here’s what we learned:

This is as close to the real deal as it gets.

One thing was clear at the start of the evening: this wasn't going to be a rubbish fairground scare-a-thon.
We had to interact with a whole cast of characters in order to complete our mission. The soldiers were intimidating, the doctors were terrifying and the zombies very, very real. These creatures were hungry for flesh, not just a bunch of drama students with tomato sauce around their mouths.

Learn how to read a map.

Our mission was to find “uninfected” drinking water. Our weapons: a map of the local area and an empty bottle. No guns, no chainsaw and certainly no mercy. We were given the co-ordinates of the first checkpoint and off we went, into the eerily abandoned vicinity of Wembley stadium.
The first thing we discovered: if you’re going to take on zombies, know how to read a map.

Running for your life is hard.

When the dead rise, make sure you wear running shoes. No matter what score you got on the bleep test in year 9, nothing can prepare you for a hoard of zombies sprinting down a dark hallway with a penchant for human flesh.
Go to 2.8hourslater.com to book your zombie experience. Tickets start from £38 per person.

SHOW US YOUR ZOMBIE WEAPON

We also decided to pop to Homebase to ask shoppers how they'd tool up for the battle against the undead. Here are 5 highlights:

Sam, 30

AXE, HAND AXE, GOGGLES, MASK
How long do you think you'd survive the zombie apocalypse?
I'd kill them all and last until the very end. I'd be the last man standing.
Why did you pick these tools?
To chop them up. Oh, and you don't want any zombie blood getting in your eyes and mouth.
What's your zombie apocalypse survival tactic?
I'd see who was around me, and if they were fighters we'd form a team and go for it. If I was defending my family, then it'd be on!

Adam, 26

HEDGE TRIMMER, MASK
How long do you think you'd survive?
A few months I think.
Why did you pick these tools?
For pure carnage. And the mask to save me from infection.
Last words?
"This is my broomstick!"

Susannah, 33, Daisy, 3, Wilf, 7 months

FOAM BAT, SPADE, SPATULA
How long do you think you'd survive the zombie apocalypse?
Not long if I was looking after these two.
Why did you pick these tools?
A spade is good to wield. Wilf is happy with anything he can put in his mouth, so a spatula works for him.

Luana, 55

RAKE, COLANDER, BIN LID
Why did you pick these tools?
This rake is pretty lengthy, so I'd keep them as far away as possible from me.
What's your survival tactic?
Run, run as fast as I can.
Last words?
"Oh God, I'm gonna get eaten."

Peter, 33

CHAINSAW
How long do you think you'd survive the zombie apocalypse?
I'd go forever, right up until the end.
Why did you pick this tool?
Oh, I think I could cause maximum damage to oncoming zombies, plus it's useful for chopping down trees.
What's your zombie apocalypse survival tactic?
Head for water. Zombies don't swim. Or doe they? Shit, they do in Zombie Flesh Eaters. I saw that when I was six.