While time spent online can be hugely productive, compulsive Internet
use can interfere with daily life, work, and relationships. When you
feel more comfortable with your online friends than your real ones, or
you can’t stop yourself from playing games, gambling, or compulsively
checking your smartphone, tablet, or other mobile device—even when it
has negative consequences in your life—then you may be using the
Internet too much. Learn about the signs and symptoms of Internet
addiction and how to balance your life online and off.
What
is Internet addiction or computer addiction?
Internet Addiction, otherwise known as computer
addiction, online addiction, or Internet addiction disorder (IAD),
covers a variety of impulse-control problems, including:
- Cybersex Addiction – compulsive
use of Internet pornography, adult chat rooms, or adult fantasy
role-play sites impacting negatively on real-life intimate
relationships.
- Cyber-Relationship Addiction –
addiction to social networking, chat rooms, texting, and messaging to
the point where virtual, online friends become more important than
real-life relationships with family and friends.
- Net Compulsions – such as
compulsive online gaming, gambling, stock trading, or compulsive use of
online auction sites such as eBay, often resulting in financial and
job-related problems.
- Information Overload – compulsive
web surfing or database searching, leading to lower work productivity
and less social interaction with family and friends.
- Computer Addiction – obsessive playing of off-line computer games, such as Solitaire or Minesweeper, or obsessive computer programming.
The most common of these Internet addictions are cybersex, online gambling, and cyber-relationship addiction.
Healthy vs. unhealthy Internet use
The Internet provides a constant, ever-changing
source of information and entertainment, and can be accessed from most
smartphones as well as tablets, laptops, and desktop computers. Email,
blogs, social networks, instant messaging, and message boards allow for
both public and anonymous communication about any topic. But how much
is too much Internet usage?
Each person’s Internet use is different. You might need to use the
Internet extensively for your work, for example, or you might rely
heavily on social networking sites to keep in touch with faraway family
and friends. Spending a lot of time online only becomes a problem when
it absorbs too much of your time, causing you to neglect your
relationships, your work, school, or other important things in your
life. If you keep repeating compulsive Internet behavior despite the
negative consequences in your offline life, then it’s time to strike a
new balance.
How do people become addicted to the Internet?
To relieve unpleasant and overwhelming feelings
Many people turn to the Internet in order to manage
unpleasant feelings such as stress, loneliness, depression, and
anxiety. When you have a bad day and are looking for a way to escape
your problems or to quickly relieve stress or self-soothe, the Internet
can be an easily accessible outlet. Losing yourself online can
temporarily make feelings such as loneliness, stress, anxiety,
depression, and boredom evaporate into thin air. As much comfort as the
Internet can provide, though, it’s important to remember that there are
healthier (and more effective) ways to keep difficult feelings in
check. These may include exercising, meditating, and practicing
simple relaxation techniques.
For many people, an important aspect of overcoming
Internet and computer addiction is to find alternate ways to handle
these difficult feelings. Even when your Internet use is back to
healthy levels, the painful and unpleasant feelings that may have
prompted you to engage in unhealthy Internet use in the past will
remain. So, it’s worth spending some time thinking about the different
ways you intend to deal with stressful situations and the daily
irritations that would normally have you logging on.
Risk factors for Internet addiction and computer addiction
You are at greater risk of Internet addiction if:
- You suffer from anxiety. You may
use the Internet to distract yourself from your worries and fears. An
anxiety disorder like obsessive-compulsive disorder may also
contribute to excessive email checking and compulsive Internet use.
- You are depressed. The Internet
can be an escape from feelings of depression, but too much time online
can make things worse. Internet addiction further contributes to
stress, isolation and loneliness.
- You have any other addictions. Many Internet addicts suffer from other addictions, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, and sex.
- You lack social support. Internet
addicts often use social networking sites, instant messaging, or online
gaming as a safe way of establishing new relationships and more
confidently relating to others.
- You’re an unhappy teenager. You might be wondering where you fit in and the Internet could feel more comfortable than real-life friends.
- You are less mobile or socially active than you once were.
For example, you may be coping with a new disability that limits your
ability to drive. Or you may be parenting very young children, which can
make it hard to leave the house or connect with old friends.
- You are stressed. While some
people use the Internet to relieve stress, it can have a
counterproductive effect. The longer you spend online, the higher your
stress levels will be.
Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction or computer addiction
Signs and symptoms of Internet addiction vary from
person to person. For example, there are no set hours per day or number
of messages sent that indicate Internet addiction. But here are some
general warning signs that your Internet use may have become a problem:
- Losing track of time online. Do
you frequently find yourself on the Internet longer than you intended?
Does a few minutes turn in to a few hours? Do you get irritated or
cranky if your online time is interrupted?
- Having trouble completing tasks at work or home.
Do you find laundry piling up and little food in the house for dinner
because you’ve been busy online? Perhaps you find yourself working late
more often because you can’t complete your work on time—then staying
even longer when everyone else has gone home so you can use the
Internet freely.
- Isolation from family and friends.
Is your social life suffering because of all the time you spend online?
Are you neglecting your family and friends? Do you feel like no one in
your “real” life—even your spouse—understands you like your online
friends?
- Feeling guilty or defensive about your Internet use.
Are you sick of your spouse nagging you to get off the computer or put
your smartphone down and spend time together? Do you hide your Internet
use or lie to your boss and family about the amount of time you spend on
the computer or mobile devices and what you do while you're online?
- Feeling a sense of euphoria while involved in Internet activities.
Do you use the Internet as an outlet when stressed, sad, or for sexual
gratification or excitement? Have you tried to limit your Internet time
but failed?
Physical symptoms of Internet addiction
Internet or computer addiction can also cause physical discomfort such as:
- Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (pain and numbness in hands and wrists)
- Dry eyes or strained vision
- Back aches and neck aches; severe headaches
- Sleep disturbances
- Pronounced weight gain or weight loss
Internet addiction: Cybersex and pornography
While online pornography and cybersex addictions are
types of sexual addiction, special challenges on the Internet include
its relative anonymity and ease of access. It’s easy to spend hours on
the Internet in the privacy of your own home, and engage in fantasies
impossible in real life.
Compulsively spending hours on the Internet viewing pornography or
engaging in other cybersex activities can adversely affect real-life
relationships, career, and emotional health.
What’s the difference between healthy and unhealthy sexuality?
For most adults, healthy sexuality is an
integrated life experience. Sex with partners, with self, or as a part
of exploring new relationships is usually a pleasurable act of choice.
For sexual addicts however, sexual behavior can be most often defined by
words such as driven, compulsive, and hidden. Unlike healthy sex that
is integrated into relationships, sexual addicts use sex as a means to
cope, to handle boredom, anxiety, and other powerful feelings or as a
way to feel important, wanted, or powerful.
Source: Sexual Recovery Institute
Internet addiction: Online gambling
While
gambling
has been a well-documented problem for years, the availability of
Internet gambling has made gambling far more accessible. It has also
made it harder for recovering addicts to avoid relapse. Online or
virtual casinos are open all day, every day for anyone with Internet
access. People who don’t live within close proximity of a traditional
casino or betting track, for example, or even those who are too young to
gain access, now find it much easier to gamble online.
Other net compulsions
Net compulsions such as compulsive stock trading or
online auction shopping can be just as financially and socially damaging
as online gambling. eBay addicts, for example, may wake up at strange
hours in order to be online for the last remaining minutes of an
auction. They may purchase things they don’t need and can’t afford in
order to experience the excitement of placing the winning bid.
Compulsive online gamers can isolate themselves for
many hours at a time participating in virtual reality or online fantasy
games, neglecting other aspects of their lives such as work and family.
Internet addiction: Cyber-relationships
When used responsibly, the Internet can be a great
place to interact socially, meet new people, and even start romantic
relationships. However, online relationships can often be more intense
than those in real life. Our fantasies are given free reign and the idea
of being with our online love can exceed all realistic expectations.
Since few real-life relationships can compete with these wild, fantasy
relationships, the Internet addict will prefer to spend more and more
time with their online friends.
Another problem is that about 50% of people online
lie about their age, weight, job, marital status, or gender. When online
friends meet and the real-life person fails to match the online
persona, it can create profound emotional disappointment.
Self-help tips for breaking your Internet addiction
There are a number of steps you can take to get your
Internet use under control. While you can initiate many of these
yourself, it’s important you get some outside support as well. It can be
all too easy to slip back into old patterns of usage, especially if you
use the Internet heavily for work or other important activities.
- Recognize any underlying problems that may support your Internet addiction. If you are struggling with depression, stress, or anxiety,
for example, Internet addiction might be a way to self-soothe rocky
moods. Have you had problems with alcohol or drugs in the past? Does
anything about your Internet use remind you of how you used to drink or
use drugs to numb yourself? Recognize if you need to address treatment
in these areas or return to group support meetings.
- Build your coping skills. Perhaps
blowing off steam on the Internet is your way of coping with stress or
angry feelings. Or maybe you have trouble relating to others, or
are excessively shy with people in real life. Building skills in these
areas will help you weather the stresses and strains of daily life
without resorting to compulsive Internet use.
- Strengthen your support network. The
more relationships you have in real life, the less you will need
the Internet for social interaction. Set aside dedicated time each
week for friends and family. If you are shy, try finding common
interest groups such as a sports team, education class, or book
reading club. This allows you to interact with others and let
relationships develop naturally.
Modify your Internet use step by step:
- To help you see problem areas, keep a log of how
much you use the Internet for non-work or non-essential activities. Are
there times of day that you use the Internet more? Are there triggers
in your day that make you stay online for hours at a time when you only
planned to stay for a few minutes?
- Set goals for when you can use the Internet. For
example, you might try setting a timer, scheduling use for certain times
of day, or making a commitment to turn off the computer, tablet, or
smartphone at the same time each night. Or you could reward yourself
with a certain amount of online time once you’ve completed a homework
assignment or finished the laundry, for instance.
- Replace your Internet usage with healthy
activities. If you are bored and lonely, resisting the urge to get back
online can be very difficult. Have a plan for other ways to fill the
time, such as going to lunch with a coworker, taking a class, or
inviting a friend over.
-
Tips for dealing with Internet addiction:
- Ask yourself, “What am I missing out on when I
spend so much time on the Internet?” Write down these activities and
decrease your Internet time to pursue some of them.
- Set reasonable Internet use goals and stick to
them. Take frequent breaks, at least 5 minutes each hour, and do some
other activity.
- Alter your routine to break your usage patterns. If you spend evenings on the Internet, start limiting your use to mornings.
- Seek out friends and acquaintances who “couldn’t
care less” about the Internet. Take time to appreciate the fact that
all life is not yet online.
- Stay connected to the offline world. Visit
newsstands, book and music stores, and participate in entertainment such
as museums, music, and live theater. Novels and poetry readings are
hard to experience online.
- Treat the Internet as a tool. Stay focused on
the fact that the Internet is a means to an end. Plan your
strategy—whether you’re looking for information or entertainment—with
the end in mind and you’ll save valuable time.
Source:
University of California, San Francisco
Internet addiction treatment, counseling, and support
Therapy and counseling for Internet addiction
Therapy can give you a tremendous boost in controlling Internet use. Cognitive-behavioral therapy
provides step-by-step ways to stop compulsive Internet behaviors and
change your perceptions regarding Internet, smartphone, and computer
use. Therapy can also help you learn healthier ways of coping with
uncomfortable emotions, such as stress, anxiety, or depression.
If your Internet use is affecting your partner directly, as with
excessive cybersex or online affairs, marriage counseling can help you
work through these challenging issues. Marriage counseling can also
help you reconnect with your partner if you have been using the
Internet for most of your social needs.
For help finding a therapist for Internet addiction, see Resources and References section below.
Group support for Internet addiction
Since Internet addiction is relatively new, it can be hard to find a real-life
support group dedicated to the issue like Alcoholics Anonymous or Gamblers Anonymous.
If that is a simultaneous problem for you, however, attending groups can help you work
through your alcohol or gambling problems as well. Sex Addicts Anonymous may
be another place to try if you are having trouble with cybersex. There may also be
groups where you can work on social and coping skills, such as for anxiety or depression.
There are some Internet addiction support groups on
the Internet. However, these should be used with caution. Although
they may be helpful in orienting you and pointing you in the right
direction, you need real-life people to best benefit from group
support.
Helping a friend or family member with Internet addiction
Tips to helping others with Internet addiction
- Be a good role model. Manage the Internet and computer use in your own life well.
- Introduce the Internet addict to other people who handle their Internet use sensibly.
- Get your friend involved in non-Internet related interests.
- Talk to your friend about your concerns with their Internet use.
- Support their desire for change if they think they have a problem.
- Encourage them to seek professional counseling.
Adapted from:
The University of Texas at Dallas
Helping a child or teen with an Internet addiction
It’s a fine line as a parent. If you severely limit a
child or teen’s Internet use, they might rebel and go to excess. But
you should monitor computer and smartphone use, superviseonline
activity, and get your child help if he or she needs it. If your child
or teen is showing signs of Internet addiction, there are things that
you can do to help:
- Encourage other interests and social activities.
Get your child out from behind the computer screen. Expose kids to
other hobbies and activities, such as team sports, Scouts, and
afterschool clubs.
- Monitor computer use and set clear limits.
Restrict the use of computers or tablets to a common area of the house
where you can keep an eye on your child's online activity, and limit
time online. This will be most effective if you as a parent follow suit.
If you can’t stay offline, chances are your child won’t either.
- Use apps to limit your child’s smartphone use.
If your child has his or her own smartphone, it’s very difficult to
directly monitor their time on the Internet. However, there are a number
of apps available that can effectively do the monitoring for you by
limiting your child’s data usage or restricting his or her texting and
web browsing to certain times of the day. Most of the major carriers
offer parental control apps. Other third-party apps are also available
that eliminate texting and emailing capabilities while in motion, so you
can prevent your teen using a smartphone while driving. See Resources
& References section below for more information.
- Talk to your child about underlying issues.
Compulsive computer use can be the sign of deeper problems. Is your
child having problems fitting in? Has there been a recent major change,
like a move or divorce, which is causing stress?
- Get help. Teenagers often rebel against their parents but if they
hear the same information from a different authority figure, they may be more inclined
to listen. Try a sports coach, doctor, or respected family friend. Don’t be
afraid to seek professional counseling if you are concerned about your child.
