How to Change Your Life ( The second method )

1.  Live in the present moment. The best way you feel happier about your life is to stop dwelling on the past and stop worrying about the future. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it is probably because you are doing one or both of these things constantly and neglecting the present moment. If you find yourself constantly dwelling on negative memories, try the following exercise:

• First, acknowledge the memory and how it makes you feel. If it was a recent incident and you feel the need to cry or scream, then do it. Consider writing about the event in a journal or talking about it with a loved one. Once you have properly grieved the memory, then admit to yourself that it is over, and nothing can be done to undo it. Instead of being upset that it happened, be thankful that it is over, and remember that things always could have been worse. The next time the thought returns to your head, acknowledge it, be thankful that it is over, and let it go.
• While it is impossible to forget the past completely, many people tend to focus on negative or traumatic memories rather than on the positive ones. Take some time to remember all the good things that have happened to you in the past. If it helps, make a list.

2.   Be positive. No matter what you have, where you are, or who you're with, your perception of your circumstances is more important than the circumstances themselves. To put this into perspective, consider this fact: at any given moment, there are other people in the world who have less money, less resources, and less loved ones than you do, and yet they are happier. Similarly, there are people who are richer than you, in better shape, and with more resources, who feel less fulfilled than you do.

• Get in the habit of noticing the positive aspects of whatever situation you find yourself in. If you find yourself complaining about what's going on around you, then counter each complaint you make with one or two positive observations.
• Stop criticizing yourself and those around you. Again, everybody has both positive and negative qualities; this is a universal fact. If you constantly focus on the negative qualities in your spouse, for example, then those are what you will notice, and you will constantly feel frustrated and annoyed. Contrastingly, if you constantly remind yourself of the positive qualities in your spouse, then those are what you will notice, and you will feel appreciative and lucky.

3.  Don't compare your own life with other peoples' lives. Part of what makes people feel unhappy with their own lives is the comparison they make with the lives of those around them. The tendency is to compare the low points of your own life with the positive points of other peoples' lives.

• Let go of jealousy. Nobody's life is perfect, no matter how it may seem on the outside. If you find yourself being jealous of others for their money, their talents, or their relationships, remember that each and every one of these people has struggled with hardships and insecurities that may even be worse than your own.